Easy Does It

I am a 41yo gay man, a very amateur photographer in recovery.

WHAT YOU MAY FIND HERE...

My Life, Living with HIV and Living Clean in New York City.


My Love Addiction Playlist from Spotify...

Posts regarding addiction (articles I have found; my opinions; my own experiences as a recovering addict)

Some funny, political, crazy, weird, interesting, and/or hot stuff I find around the internet or make up. This blog may contain content not suitable for viewing by minors (18 yrs+ only)


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    39 posts tagged Love Addict

    I’m accepting applications.  Men preferred (sorry ladies).  

    I won’t pretend that I intend to stop living
    I won’t pretend I’m good at forgiving
    But I can’t hate you
    Although I have tried
    Mmmmm
    I still really really love you
    Love is stronger than pride
    I still really really love you
    Mmmmm

    I won’t pretend that I intend to stop living
    I won’t pretend I’m good at forgiving
    But I can’t hate you
    Although I have tried
    Mmmmm

    I still really really love you
    Love is stronger than pride
    I still really really love you
    Mm mm mm mm mm

    Sitting here wasting my time
    Would be like
    Waiting for the sun to rise
    It’s all too clear things come and go
    Sitting here waiting for you
    Would be like waiting for winter
    It’s gonna be cold
    There may even
    Be snow

    I still really really love you
    Love is stronger than pride
    I still really really love you
    Love is stronger
    I still really really love you
    Love is stronger than pride

    Sade - Love is Stronger than Pride

    and I stopped trying a long time ago

    (via ln-difference)

    Can I Get a Witness?!!

    Prince Charming doesn’t exist and I am no longer chasing that illusion of the perfect make that will make everything rainbows & unicorns forever.  However, I find myself faced with another need for a prince, Prince Confirming.  

    I have received many gifts in recovery one of which is a new found happiness and the acceptance of self.  The start of a brand new way to live without the use of drugs.  I set out on returning to school, finding a new home, getting a job, and reconnecting with true-friends and family.  Truly, I am generally happy everyday.  My problems (challenges) are luxury problems.   Suddenly, the momentum slowed on certain fronts.  

    Why, knowing that I am in a great place, would I slow the efforts on achieving goals that will keep in that great place?  Prince Confirming, that’s why!  There is this new need/want to have someone in my life to share this happiness with.  This happiness doesn’t not stem from having materialistic things or having some high social standing (I don’t have a large wallet and what others think of me is really none of my business).  It comes from having some peace; knowing that whatever happens I will be taken care of; knowing that I am loved and I have greater love for myself today.  It’s not a glitter parade everyday but I can get through anything especially if I don’t pickup a drug. 

    Am I really at peace? Why the stand still?

    Little by slowly, great things are happening in my life (staying clean is a daily miracle!!) and I want a witness.  Hmmm, first I said, “…someone in my life to share this happiness with,” and now it’s something else.  I am not on a desperate search for Prince Confirming, but recently I find myself dreaming of the guy that will be there to bear witness to my achievements, big or small.  So, I haveseemingly put stuff on the back burner waiting for Prince Confirming to come around so he can begin to observe it all coming together. This is totally self-centered thinking (look at me, praise me, YOU [not me] will show the world that I am not a fraud).  This is me wanting instant validation and gratification from something outside myself (addict behavior).  I wonder what color the horse Prince Confirming rides in on will be… anyway! What if he never shows up?!?

    Maybe because of recent events on the dating scene I suddenly have flipped into this mindset however, being aware of this now I can dig deeper what was my part in all of it.  I can step away from blaming the situation or the person but rather begin to look got the exact nature of this manifestation of Prince Confirming.  

    They say, “We can only keep what we have by giving it away.”  Recovery has taught me, by sharing how I have done it and what I continue to do to be happy, that my experience will benefits others.  

    Right now, I do know if I continue waiting for a witness, then I will never get to accomplishing anything but waiting.  The only person that I need to witness, allow, accept, and validate my successes and happiness is the man in the mirror.  

    Tell everyone you know: “My happiness depends on me, so you’re off the hook.” And then demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they’re doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel — and then, you’ll love them all. Because the only reason you don’t love them, is because you’re using them as your excuse to not feel good.

    Esther Hicks

    The love I seek is already within me… I need not search desperately for what had been bestowed upon me when I took my first breath.

    Christian Aviance

    Story of my life

    The is that never was…

    The is that never was the illusion of something beautiful my mind fooled myself into believing could ever be…

    The is that never was constructed following the blueprint of my heart’s design; the architect of my desires…

    The is that never was what my soul felt when we were together; what my spirit longed for, for so long; ….

    The is that never was in a stolen kiss good night, to lie with him and trace his form with my fingers, the thump of his heart; the synchronizing of our breath…

    The is that never was what it was the first day and what is not and could never be today…

    The is that never was the feelings have for him…

    The is that never was reciprocated; never was requited; never was him feeling the same.

    — Christian l’Aviance

    #closure

    (via psych-facts)

    Good night… I would walk a thousand miles to look into his eyes, good night… to be moved by his smile, good night… to be pressed against his thigh, good night… I would walk another thousand miles to steal a kiss from him, Good Night.

    Christian L.

    David Levithan, The Lover’s Dictionary

    (via brokenly)

    homopride:

    jskypruitt:

    I will wait for mine.

    With someone I love that is. :(

    #le #sigh

    Trentemøller - Moan - Trentemoeller Remix

    Added to Love Addiction Playlist

    "I’ve been thinking too much about you…"

    Moan

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